A poem to the neighbours cat.


You shit in my garden, You sit on my fence, You keep killing birds, And it’s not self defence. You leave bits of carcass, And bird feathers spread, Then aggressively purr, As you perch on my shed. You circle my house, Like you’re casing the joint, I’m not sure of your reasons, Are you making a point? I guess I…

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Look mummy, I’m a crap!


Kids are hard work. I mean, they’re obnoxious little shits that drive us mental, from the moment they wake up, to the moment they go to bed.   Can I have a drink? It’s not fair! What’s for dinner? I don’t want to tidy my room! I’ve lost my shoes! Can I have chocolate? I don’t want to! Etc etc……

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It’s not easy being an introvert.


So many times, in so many different situations, I have wanted to express myself, but for some reason not been able to. Whether overhearing a conversation that I could have been a part of or being at a meeting that I could have contributed valuably to, there is just something inside of me that heavily convinces me to just keep…

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Siblings

Siblings


Sometimes you’ll say – ‘I hate you’, Then say sorry with a hug, Sometimes you’ll drive each other mad, Hiding the remote under the rug. Sometimes you’ll steal their clothes, But sometimes they’ll steal yours too, Sometimes you’ll eat all of their sweets, And then say it wasn’t you. Sometimes you’ll trip them as they pass, Making them fall flat…

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Chocolate, Chocolate, Chocolate


Beech’s chocolates sent me goodies, Through the post the other day, In exchange for this review, And for a chance to have my say. Prosecco chocs, some ginger ones, And salt caramel truffle, The choices that we had to make, Had caused quite the kerfuffle. The partner and the kids, Had all seen the chocs arrive, And were crowding all…

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stepfather

Dear Twins…


You may not have my surname, Or my blood run through your veins, You may not have my signature, For In the ink it still remains, When you cried hello I never heard, For then I never knew you, Your existence still unknown to me, As we’d not been introduced to. As you started growing older, With your mother by…

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colour

The subject is COLOUR


I love to challenge the perception in which people look at things – to make them question a subject that they may otherwise look at from a singular dimension. There is one subject in particular that I have raised with a few different people, but only one has ever understood where I was coming from. Are we the only ones?…

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toilet frog

The toddlers pooping habit


The toddler seems shit scared of taking shits. She goes about three times a day, and would probably be Olympian worthy if it were a sport (which it isn’t of course). She’s been toilet trained since the beginning of the year and has no problem asking to use the bog every time she needs a number 1, however, for some…

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